Hey, how’s life? Pretty good, huh? Well, not for me. This past week I’m sick and I can’t go out to play or just hang out. It’s supposed to be holiday but it sucks when all you can do is rest, rest, and rest. I admit that before this holiday, well, exam weeks, I had bad times to sleep. I slept at 2 or 3 a.m, just to finished my unfinished assignments.

 I have a bad life, I must say. I mean, lack of sleep, less veggies and fruits, sodas. I thought for a second that I must change my lifestyle. To sleep in 8 hours top, eat more healthy foods, less junk food and sodas, and a little exercise of course. I always say that to be healthy we have to spend more money. People go to gym class, pilates class, yoga class, because they have more money, while I’m not. I’ve tried to do jogging with my mother but the weather now is unpredictable. And I can’t wake up at 5 or 6 a.m to do it. In the afternoon I’m too lazy to go out and do jogging because some people (well, men), just don’t know how and when to flirt with young females (Sucks!). I know, I know. So many excuses. I really want to be like my parents whom still strong even if they’ve reached 40s. How’s that possible? 

My dad was and still a martial artist. I believe he was so great at it. He won many karate championship. I can tell he was a great mathematician too. He took civil engineer degree, you know. He told me that he had a goal to be a civil engineer, no matter what. My dad worked as a contractor for awhile, but since 1998, he let his job go (1998 in Indonesia was a monetary crisis). And until know, he works at a company, so far from civil engineering, with low paid. He told us he doesn’t have much savings. His money at the bank is not more than 6 digits in Indonesian Rupiah. Well, I devastated to hear that and I’ve been looking for some side job to help my family’s finance issue.

And know I’m in a bad condition. I have this headache that stand in a week, I fainted. My head is spinning and just can’t stop spinning. And I thought to myself, it’s a vertigo or a brain cancer. I don’t want to go to the doctor because it’s expensive and I know my dad doesn’t have much money. So much priority beside my health.

I never see myself as a perfect person. I’m such a sucker when it comes to comparison. Always compare to people who had privileges. Always try to be the best without doing anything (how come?!). Yeah, that’s me. The imperfect girl who have never finished anything in life. Lucky me, I have some good friends and supporting family. I can’t believe my parents are still supporting me in my major (design) even if it costs money more than they can earn.

What I can say, enjoy and appreciate life. Enjoy it by being healthy all the time, don’t suffer your body just because you want to look like those K-pop girls. Love your family and your friends. And everyone who’s there when you’re at your weakest point. Life is beautiful, people! But it is short…